10 Questions for a Chicago Wise Guy
By: Elizabeth Thompson

In an attempt to uncover the mysteries of a comedian’s mind, Chicago Night & Day interviewed Brad Helm, a member of the sketch comedy group Dark-Eyed Strangers. Also a part-time waiter at Allen’s— The New American Café, Helm has been with the group for two years. In their two years together, the six-member ensemble’s major performances have been at the 2004 and 2005 Chicago Sketch Fest. Helm was kind enough to answer our questions…and entertain us in the process.

CND: How did you land where you are at now?

BH: I got my degree in creative writing and did some journalism work in Springfield. But journalism didn’t really do it for me. There was no room to pen odd thoughts like a unicorn playing a saxophone.

CND: I'm told you took a class at Second City. How was that experience?

BH: Second City has a strange smell. That was alarming. It smells like 50 percent unrefined tapioca, 48 percent wet cardboard and four percent failed dreams, which actually adds up to 102 percent, but it’s a really strong smell. It would have been nice if they could have cracked a window in that place, but…no dice.

CND: What brought you to Second City?

BH: The brown line—sorry that was too easy. I would say the smell and the fact that John Belushi is buried in the basement. At least, that’s what the janitor told me. Plus, once a year they do something really funny. They tell all the young, hopeful performers and writers that a scout from “Saturday Night Live” is in the audience.

CND: Do you write as well as perform?

BH: Yes, and I’m damn good at both—with the exception of performing. Actually, my writing could use some improvement as well. For the most part I’m a decent writer/performer for someone who lacks training and discipline. So, the answer is yes.

CND: What do you like best about comedy writing? The least?

BH: Cheers to all the groupies that hang around backstage. Jeers to all the penicillin.

CND: Where do your ideas come from?

BH: I don’t really know. I kind of like to see people squirming a little bit. I like walking that line—is it funny or is it just painful to watch?

CND: Favorite sketch you’ve written?

BH: I don’t know if I have a real favorite, it’s like picking a favorite child. There are a few that come to mind. Most of them don’t sound funny when I describe them, but here goes. For instance, I wrote a scene called “Shultzie and Fritz.” It’s about a German and a Jew who do vaudeville style comedy about the holocaust on their own 60’s television show called “Sie Machen Lachen Schnell!” which loosely translates to “You Make Laughing Now!” See, it sounds terrible and, oddly enough, that scene has never made it in a show. It’s a lot of work. You bring scenes in and you think it’s the funniest thing you’ve ever written and people are like, "I don’t get it." Wait you were asking about my favorite scene…I would say whatever I’m working on during the course of the day.

CND: What have Dark-Eyed Strangers done that has been most successful?

BH: I would say our most successful shows have been the sober ones, but I could be wrong.

CND: What are your future goals in sketch comedy writing?

BH: I’m quitting sketch comedy to focus on a juvenile mystery novel, a là Encyclopedia Brown. It’s called “Kit Kit and Tommy,” and the main characters are a girl who can turn into a cat and a bottle that contains the ghost of Thomas Edison. The two of them fly around in a biplane solving rather pedestrian mysteries; the first book is called “The Case of the Purloined Fountain Pen.” But seriously, I would like to continue writing comedy, but I would like to do stuff outside of that, such as writing plays, screen plays and short stories.

CND: Is there anything else that you’d like to discuss?

BH: How much am I getting paid for this? I was told money was going to change hands, palms would be greased, etc.

CND: Sorry no dice, but I can say that your sarcastic wit would make the likes of Bill Murray quite proud.

BH: Well, I guess that’s something.